June 8th, 2005 by Rory

I think a more appropriate name for Grand Theft Auto San Andreas would be “Poor, Angry Black Man Simluator” or “Attack of the Honkies” — something to that effect. In my first few minutes with the game, these things happened:

1. I was arrested.
2. I was caught in a drive-by.
3. I purchased fried chicken.
4. I drove in a beat-up Cadillac.
5. I spray painted my gang sign all over town.
6. I was chased and attacked by rival gang members for painting said signs.
7. I was chased by the police for inciting the attack by said gang members.
8. I was arrested… again.
9. I appeared on Springer with my baby’s mama.
10. John Singleton approached me about making a movie about my life’s story.

Okay, not all of that happened, but you get the idea.

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